Women Are Happier After Divorce For Many Reasons, These 9 Specifically
A study by Kingston University meant to analyze the negative impact of trauma on men and women came up with some surprising findings about divorce and women.
In the study, researchers surveyed 10,000 people in the U.K. between the ages of sixteen and sixty. In the survey participants were asked to rate their happiness before and after their divorce.
During a 20 year period, researchers found that women were happier and more satisfied with their lives after divorce.
“In the study we took into account the fact that divorce can sometimes have a negative financial impact on women, but despite that it still makes them much happier than men,” Professor Yannis Georgellis, Director of the Center for Research in Employment, Skills and Society (CRESS) at Kingston Business School, said.
So, what it is about women that help them move on to a more fulfilling life after divorce? Why do women handle divorce better than men? I’m sure that some argue that it is because more women file for divorce than men, that women are happier because they are getting what they want.
That argument only holds water if you delve into the many reasons women file for divorce. There are many reasons women file for a divorce and not all of those reasons have anything to do with falling out of love or no longer being happy in the marriage.
4 reasons a woman may file for divorce:
1. She has been abandoned and left with no recourse but to file for a divorce and pursue child support via the family court system. Something that isn’t taken into consideration when we read statistics about the fact that more divorces are filed by women is the reason they file for divorce.
In most situations, women file for divorce when they’ve been backed into a corner and feel they have no other option.
2. Her husband suffers a midlife crisis and endangers her financial security, emotional security and behaves in a manner that is destructive to her and her future welfare.
3. Her husband is abusive and she has no recourse when protecting herself other than to file for a divorce and put distance between herself and the abuser.
4. Her husband has an extra-marital affair, moves out of the marital home, in with the other woman and leaves her responsible for financial maintenance of the home and family.
The reason for the divorce is not a factor in how well a woman will heal and move on with her life once she is divorced. Divorce can be a hard choice to make but once it is made a woman has choices she can make. She can give into the trauma of the divorce or rebuild her life and get on with the business of living. Most choose to get on the with business of living.
9 reasons women are happier after divorce:
1. Women are more likely than men to seek help for the emotional trauma caused by divorced from a therapist family member or, friend. Men keep it close to the vest when dealing with emotional upheaval.
Not reaching out for support prolongs their suffering and the time it takes to heal.
2. Women are more likely than men to surround themselves with a positive support system such as friends and family.
3. Women have different emotional coping strategies. While men look outward when seeking comfort from emotional pain, women look inward. They take an internal inventory of the role they played in the demise of the marriage, they work at getting their emotional “ducks in a row” and letting go of the past so they can focus on the future.
4. Women are less likely to turn to alcohol, drugs, new relationships and casual sex to distract them from the trauma of divorce.
5. Women are more likely to seek out new experiences after divorce, experiences that enrich their lives and give them a sense of hope for the future.
6. Women are more likely to prioritize their needs. They will put an effort into staying physically healthy during the trauma of divorce. They will have more focus on eating properly and working out in an effort to stave off illness and depression.
7. Women are no stronger emotionally than men. They do however use different coping skills than men when dealing with emotional trauma and, based on the study, those skills make it possible for women to move on and be happier than men after divorce.
8. Women have a strong sense of perseverance. Giving up is always the easy way out. Resilient people demonstrate the ability to stick to things and get them done. It’s women who do the lion’s share of childcare after divorce, they work outside the home while, at the same time having to keep the home together. Women are more likely to take on, happily the challenges of single motherhood and relish in that role.
9. Women are more likely to be comfortable in their own skin. They are more comfortable with the idea of going it alone, choosing a course of action they believe in and moving forward. Most women don’t mind spending time with themselves and have an understanding of the importance of healing after their divorce before jumping into a new relationship. Their lack of suffering from loneliness after divorce allows them to explore enjoyable activities either alone or in the company of friends. They don’t go out immediately looking for a replacement unit for the husband they just divorced.